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I’ve been doing bodyweight training on the dirty floor of my building’s computer lab for about a month.

I figured I would wait until I figured out which mat I want, then start all clean and Instagram-perfect on the right, new mat.

But I know my own excuses.

As my yoga instructor said last Friday, “come as you are.” I HATE this!

I’m currently staying at a domestic abuse survivor’s shelter. I put some major distance between my abuser and my kids but my abuser found out where I am within days. That’s all I can say: I’m still in a legal battle to protect my kids. Life is hard right now.

I would rather wait until I’m in my own place and I have a job with my brand-new bachelor’s degree in Business. I’d rather just focus on what I can get done and not talk about my struggles until they’re resolved. But I’m finding that waiting until things are perfect just isn’t realistic.

I’m going to resume chipping away at podcast editing. Post my process. Show up as I am, as much as I hate to.

Whatever it is that you’re waiting to resolve, whether it’s waiting on the “right” equipment to shoot a video, the credential before you use your voice, or for circumstances to improve… don’t wait on it. No one wants the sanitized, Photoshopped version.

Go for it.

I don’t know if I’m going to get the Corona virus at work today.

By 2:30 am, I’ve cleaned one OR room and listened to four podcasts on entrepreneurship. I’m a mom and business student paying my way through school by cleaning overnight at a hospital.

I set huge goals. And I’m getting my ass kicked.

And this is good.

We don’t talk about failure enough. I’ve been holding my breath, renewing my domain and hosting for at least three years, specifically because I’ve been too afraid to admit where I am now. I’m 31 and don’t have my bachelor’s degree. I have tutored Accounting, Chemistry, English, and Biology… but here I am, working in housekeeping, completely under-utilizing my skills.

Plus, I’m single, which in the Midwest is some kind of horror—there seems to be an unwritten rule that you should be married with a career and kids by 25. (Please don’t tell me I’ll find someone, I’m finding myself.)

My favorite failure?

Letting everyone know my podcast was launching October 16, 2018 and then disappearing. On my birthday. So here sat the domain.

Until now, when I’m inviting you to my arena. Brene Brown talks about Roosevelt’s “The Man in the Arena” speech, which expresses the spirit of daring greatly, of going for your goals in spite of the fact that you will fail. You will find yourself facedown in the arena. Getting your ass kicked. Hopefully in the end you win the fight but there are no guarantees.

The point is to show up. To fail, fail again, fail better, and hopefully, to succeed. But to know in the end you had the courage to give your all.

What this means for you, if you care to follow along, is that I’ll be sharing my journey finishing business school and interviewing audacious entrepreneurs…while working as a housekeeping lead (executive toilet scrubber, thank you). And dodging the Corona virus—I hope.

I’d love for you to join me:

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